Many may think that an inactive person like me would never be able to take up sports or adventurous activities. I used to underestimate my physical abilities when I first knew I had Fibromyalgia. Ironically, I cannot resist my curiosity of fun activities I never try before. I had waited and wasted for about 10 years to start scuba diving and from now on, I will focus on things I find joy in ... this is my life. Chronic pain will not win me. I can still enjoy my life. Just adjustment.
Not pacing myself and doing too much will leave me with pay back and regrets. Whether it was just a matter of having intense or localized on a certain part of the body, I still believe that we CAN do it as long it is worth the sacrifice. It is ALL in the mind. If we think we can, we CAN.
Before I left for my trip, someone said I may not be able to make it. Today, an old friend sent me a message and after knowing that I had started scuba diving, he is proud of me. I am instantly reminded of how proud I am of myself now. It was hard work doing the Open Water and Advanced Open Water consecutively. I think I had the most stringent training compared to those who did in a group. It was one-to-one training by instructors from Sweden, Holland and Germany. With the first one, I almost broke down from the psychological pressure to be able to perfect each skill instantly. I was overwhelmed with feelings of anxiety, fear of failure and felt I was on some kind of a big game. She pressured me with negative and disparaging words that torn me apart. But I grit my teeth and held on. I have recently fought a battle, still fighting it and will always fight it. Not forgetting the knowledge reviews and final examination I had to complete before my open sea dives in my room every night with puffy panda eyes, arms and feet breaking apart. I was determined when I planned this trip and I wanted to make it. I. I am glad I finally did it.
I could not describe the intense muscle aches from the pool training, walking up and down the main road searching for a cheaper grocery stall and restaurant. I had to be thrifty though. But I can conclude that these aches are "superficial" caused by physical aggravation which can be relieved by massage. Unlike the aches I have at home doing nothing and work, the nerves will act up like some kind of neuropathy caused by inactivity and mental stress when painkillers are the only relief. On bad days I could no longer walk further than the McDonald's next to my hotel, I would settle for fish fillet as my dinner.
The main problem I am having is after donning my equipment, I could not stand up without any help and lifting it from ground to higher level on the bumpy speed boat. Hope it will be just "practice makes perfect". A short 10 steps walk is only required on the bigger boat, 3 to 4 steps on the speed boat (all without fins) to where we jumped. On a bum boat, we just do a back roll from our own seat. It was easy but scary the first time when I did it, but I like it.
When I am underwater, I do not feel the weight of the tank or any other discomfort on my body anymore, all the aches and buzzing is gone. I forget who I am. The magnificient view opened my eyes, heart and soul to the amazing wonders of another world. It was paradise with no woes or stress, only exploring and adore God's wonderful creation.
Today, 7 days from my last dive, still paying back for the wonderful 4 days of diving but I have no qualms about it. It was worth it.
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